If I die today, I will die a happy woman. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. Plus, I am not even sure where I will go next. What does heaven looks like? For an active person like me, the way heaven is described is not very appealing. Can I play tennis or take part in fun, adrenaline fuelled activities? Hell is too hot and full of mean people, so I’ll pass on that one. What would you say if I ask you: “Are you ready to die right now?”
What is death? Let’s face it, when you die you won’t even know. In the western society, death is pretty much taboo. We do not talk about it. Some people even avoid thinking about writing a will because of its connotations. Heck, I’m the worse one of them. I cannot bear it when my dad starts a conversation with “When I am gone, …”. The idea of living without my dad, mum, family and close friends around do not even bear thinking about.
You’re probably wondering, if that’s the case then why am I ready to die? That is a good question. The way I see it, our relationship with death comes from our relationship with life. I’m going to ask you again: “Are you ready to die right now?”. Take a minute to think about it. If possible, write down your thoughts and reasoning. I hope that I can convince you to either say “Yes” or put the wheels in motion to get to a state where you can say yes.
Assuming that I have a degree in mind reading, this is what you might be thinking about: “I can’t die today as I haven’t achieved what I wanted to do with my life”. My question to you is what is it that you want to achieve in your life? How much of it have you already achieved? What is stopping you from achieving those things? Get out there and start doing what is needed to achieve those things. Remember that sometimes, death comes without a warning. People get hit by cars and die unexpectedly.
“I haven’t left a legacy yet, something to be remembered for?”. This is simply outside of your control. You cannot read the future, how do you know that you haven’t already left a legacy? Yes, that’s a hard question for me to even formulate. Some people are fortunate enough to witness the impact they have on the world, for example Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and more. Other people died without knowing that what they did, what they created had a huge impact in the future, aka a legacy. For instance Vincent van Gogh, Modest Mussorgsky, Leonardo Da Vinci, Oscar Wilde and my grandmother to name a few.
Don’t bother googling my grandmother. Although she left an amazing legacy, she won’t be listed. My grandmother died in 1989. She had a huge heart and was there not only for her children, but also for anybody that crossed her path. She was a shoulder to cry on, a landfill where you could unburden yourself and throw your darkest sins without worrying about your secrets coming back through the channels of gossips. She has helped countless of people in many different ways. She has never asked anything in return. Whenever my mum or I meet someone who knew my grandmother, they feel connected to us. They always have a lot good things to say. In fact, they would go out of their ways to assist and accommodate us if needed. Now that is a legacy. Funnily enough, I doubt my grandmother knew how she would be remembered in the future. All she focused on was to be the person she wanted to be in her life. That is compassionate, kind and helping as many people as she could. So you see, don’t worry about leaving a legacy. Spend more time thinking about what you can actively do today to make an impact on the person sitting next to you, the people around you and in your community.
“I have a family, young kids, elderly parents, a company … They all depend on me.” That is true. As human being, we have tremendous potential that we are not aware of. We are designed to cope with pretty much anything. We only discover the extent of our strength when faced with challenges and difficult situations. Therefore, it is not for you to worry about. All your loved ones will navigate through the struggles and the pain of losing you. Everybody has a journey. It will be hard and unthinkable for a long time, but they will pull through. If you really want to help them, then make sure that they know how much you love and care about them. Work hard everyday to create memories, strong links that will never be broken even when you’re gone.
There are many other reasons you could think of. Most of them will fit in the categories that I have mentioned above. If you want to be comfortable with death, then you need to start living now. Every minute of every day is an opportunity for you to become the person you want to be. Your legacy starts right now. Many people find the courage to really live their lives after near death experiences. Quite frankly, I’d rather not go through one of those. Instead, I regularly ask myself this question “How do I feel about dying right now”? If the answer is no, then I know that I have work to do to recalibrate my life. As of this very moment, the answer is “Yes, if I die today, I will die a happy woman”. No, my life is not perfect, I’m going through a really hard time mentally and emotionally. However, I know that I am going (stumbling) in the right direction based on my goals and my values. Every day is a bonus, the chance to do a bit more for myself, my loved ones and my community. I love life and hope that I will be here long enough to see future generations. However, that’s not my goal. It is not up to me. My final wish is that someone has the decency to close my Facebook account when I am gone. I don’t see why they should continue profiting from my data. That is one legacy I do not want to leave.