Why do you take yourself for granted?

What have you done today to make yourself feel good? In fact, how often do you do something nice for yourself? Why do you need a reason to show yourself some love and appreciation? Why do you take yourself for granted? Last year, I decided to track and analyse my own behaviour. Among other things, in my calendar, I put a red sticker on days where I did something nice for myself. It was an interesting revelation.

Have you ever noticed that we treat ourselves on a reward based system? It is as if we need an external reason, an occasion to enjoy ourselves. I have earned the right to buy myself something expensive because it is my birthday. I will treat myself to a spa becauseĀ  I worked so hard. I will have a nice hot chocolate because the presentation went well. We ride and piggyback on the high created by external events, instead of generating them ourselves. What happened to random acts of kindness? Wouldn’t you agree that flowers or gifts received are much more appreciated when you least expect it? I know I will get a present on my birthday or on Valentine’s day. I’m grateful for that. However, going home to find that my loved ones or friends have cooked something special for me, brought me chocolate or simply remembered to pick up their socks always lift up my spirit.

At first, the concentration of red dots on my calendar were found mostly on weekends. This pattern will be familiar to many people. “Thanks God, it’s Friday”. We spend more time planning our weekends at the detriment of the remaining of the week. What can you do next Monday to make the day feel a little bit special? Continue reading →

Turn your subconscious into your personal coach

Positive thinking, is it a myth? With all the best intentions in the world, how can you remain positive when your brain is constantly attacked by negative and discouraging thoughts? Have you ever tried “literally” rewriting the scripts that play in your mind?

When everything is hunky-dory, it is somewhat easy to keep a smile on your face. However, how can you keep smiling when life keeps on throwing you curve balls? I started this year with a plan, a smile and a determination to challenge myself every month in order to become more resilient. In January, I worked on learning self control through veganism. It wasn’t long before a spanner was thrown in the mix. Yikes! In a nutshell, men! You think you can trust someone but then you find out that it has always been a lie. Needless to say that it was a struggle to remain positive, to smile. After the mandatory period of dwelling on what happened and feeling sorry for myself, I decided that enough was enough. As Gloria Gaynor said “I will survive”. But how do you do that when you lose your motivation and question your confidence and belief in yourself and the people that you have allowed into your life?

When I was at primary school, one of the punishments for misbehaving was to write a certain sentence a hundred times. Yeah that’s right, hundred times! The sentences were designed to reinforce positive behaviours such as “I will remember to bring my PE kit”, “I will always do my homework”, “I will not be rude to my teachers”. Trust me when I said that, at that age, this was worse than detention. Weirdly enough, when I was thinking about techniques to use to get me back on the positivity wagon, this once dreadful experience came to my mind. Would it be possible to change the way I think by writing down a positive mantra based on the negative thoughts that I have been fighting all day? Challenge Accepted! Throughout February, before going to bed, I will write down a sentence that will help me fight my negative thoughts and beliefs. Rather than hundred, I will write the same sentence fifty times. Continue reading →

Happiness is like the sun piercing through the clouds

What is happiness?

Did you know that the word “happy” is one of the top 1000 frequently used words? Many people spend their lives in the pursuit of happiness. Some believe that happiness is linked to social status, money, belongings and/or achieving a certain goal. For instance, I will be happy when I’ve got a decent job. I will be happy when I meet someone in my life. I will be happy once I’ve resolved my current situation.

There are many self help books out there telling you what to do to be happy. Have you ever wondered what happiness really is?

Please feel free to disagree with me, but I genuinely believe that happiness is not “real”. Happiness is a state of mind that should be maintained through commitment and simple practices in our daily lives. Continue reading →